Sunday, February 24, 2013

"Parent"dox: My Biggest Enemy Becomes my Best Friend

par·a·dox \ˈper-ə-ˌdäks, ˈpa-rə-\
          a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common 
          sense and yet is perhaps true
1.  It is a paradox that computers need maintenance so often, since they are meant to save people time.  (
par·ent·dox  \I need one of my genius speech path friends to do 
                            this part\                                 
                            \Kelli & Gretchen are laughing right now\
the daily experience that is parenthood; seemingly living life in contradiction
          1.  It is a "parent"dox that I am exhausted pretty much all day, but the second my head hits 
          the pillow, my mind starts remembering all of the random things I need to do and I am 
          instantly wide awake.  (   

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #2: My Biggest Enemy Becomes my Best Friend

I had something completely different in mind to write about for tonight's "parent"dox.  But as most things in life go, that plan went out the window as life was actually happening.

This weekend, my sister was in town for her baby shower at my house.  It was an incredibly fun, but busy day, and we finally had the chance to spend some time together after the shower was all said and done.  I sat with my hand on her belly and felt her niece...kick and move and wiggle around.  It was completely indescribable.   Different than when I could feel my own babies move, different than feeling my friends' babies move.  This was my baby sister.  And her little baby she'd soon be bringing into this world.  I've seen her and talked with her all throughout her pregnancy, but after not seeing her for 2 months, it all hit me last night as I could finally feel her little miracle pushing against my hand. 

When did she grow up?  

Where did the time go?  

How did my biggest enemy become my best friend?

When we were growing up, we used to go 'round and 'round, like most siblings do.  She was the one that took my clothes without asking.  The one who I engaged in head-to-head combat with in "Marker Wars."  (That story, my friends, is for another day...)  The one who cut the hair on my "My Time" Barbie doll.  The one who hogged the Nintendo and could always beat the next level of "Super Mario Bros." before I could.  The one who knew exactly how to drive me crazy and push my buttons without even trying.  

I, of course, never so much as spoke a harsh word to her.  Just take my word for it.  Whatever she disputes or remembers differently is neither here nor there...

She headed back home today, as she now lives out of state.  I remember a time when I would have given my Cabbage Patch Kid and my Pound Puppy to not have to spend another second in the same house, let alone the same city, as her.  Now, I am already counting the days until I get to see her next.  

She has, without a doubt, become my very best friend in the world.  After all the yelling matches, the fighting, the bickering, some (read as: my parents) would consider this a miracle.  In a million years, I never would have guessed I'd be trading those days in for long bouts of laughter, a never-ending exchange of text messages...mostly silly, and most of which any other human being on the planet wouldn't understand...and the gift of being able to know what the other is thinking by exchanging a single glance. 

She is the one person in this world who truly knows my life, my story.  She's been there for it all. (Well, minus the first 3 1/2 years.  When she came home from the hospital, I asked if she could spend the night.  The very next day, I asked if they could take her back.  I kept working that angle until I moved out.)  She knows everything about me...the good, the bad, the ugly.  I don't have to explain things to her when we talk; she just gets it.    She gets me.  The same gift she used to use for evil to annoy me, she now uses for good to support me, and to call me out when I need that, too.  It makes her the best listener this girl could ask for.

My parents used to tell us all the time... "You will be the best of friends someday."  This statement usually took place while we were supposed to be apologizing to each other for some wrong doing or after being talked to for the umpteenth time about arguing with each other.  I never believed them.  I usually rolled my eyes, sighed under my breath, or pinched my sister quickly while Mom or Dad was looking the other way.  I imagine I'll be muttering that same "best friends" statement to my own kids many times over, and they will most likely have the same reaction I did.  

Somehow, though, my parents' prediction has actually come true.

My biggest enemy has, indeed, become my best friend.

So, to my sister...You Are a Good Phenominal Mom.  I miss you.  I love you.  I can't wait to meet that sweet little niece of mine.  

And just so we're clear...even with all this mushy stuff, I continue to hold firm to my position that you should have been able to catch the softball I threw while we were playing catch in the basement.  The broken window of '92 is still on you.


  1. Oh, the truth in the post is amazing! Today, I don't know what I would do without my sisters. They both bring something different to my life, and my family's, but its something I can't imagine a day without.

    Thank You for the trip back in time. Apparently, it doeen't matter if they are your sister's or someone elses, we are all the same!

    1. I'm so glad to know you could relate to this phenomenon, too! ;) Funny how some things can just be universal, and sisters are one of them. Hmm, now I'm wondering...did you guys fight over My Little Pony, Care Bears or Popples?

  2. I love this post Carrie! I do not have a sister, but I always wanted one! I do love hanging out with my brothers and I have become great friends with my sister in laws, but there is something about that sister bond! I look forward to seeing my girls grow up and be best friends! I keep reminding them they are sisters and they will always have each other!

    1. Our parents used to tell us to get along and work things out because we "only had one sister!" I remember thinking..."Thank God for that!" :)

      How awesome for your girls to have each other!! Something special about sisters. My kids have their moments, but overall play really well together at this young age. But, with having a son and a daughter, I do sometimes think about the "specialness" of a 'brother bond' or a 'sister bond.' Not enough to warrant more children at this point, however. :)

  3. I use to have three sisters now only one lives. Recently my parents gave us the gift of a cruise together. Yikes! I wasn't sure about sharing a room with her again! but the time flew by, we talked for hours and I agree whole heartedly with you - One who was once a trying nuisance is now truly my best friend. Having 4 sons and only one daughter myself I often wished she had someone to partner up with when the wars began between siblings, but she is strong and she is independent and the lessons of being an only girl have turned into a gift. And now with the boys getting married she has sisters to love without the childhood memories to overcome :) I'm old enough now to see the insights of parenting on both sides and I know Carrie that if you are as good a mother as you are a teacher your children will blossom into best friends too. God bless you on this wonderful journey called parenting!

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your kind words and thoughts. They are truly appreciated! Hmmm...A sister cruise...I'm liking the sound of that! :)


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