"Parent"dox: Gone, But Still Here

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #18:  Gone, But Still Here

Today was a special day for our family.

It was a day of love, celebration, sadness, joy, memories and togetherness, all rolled in to one.

The day began with mass.  From my 83-year-old grandpa to my 3-month-old niece, four generations of my family sat together and filled nearly three pews at his church.  After church, we all headed to Bob Evans for breakfast together.  After too many pancakes and way too much bacon, we then ventured to my aunt and uncle's pool to swim and spend the afternoon together, just as we do each year on this day.  The day wound to a close with a cookout, and of course, more eating.  Together.

From start to finish, it was a day of family.  It was a day of laughing and talking and joking and remembering.  It was a day of time spent together.  

It was a day for her.  Of her family being together, just as she would have wanted it.  

It has been a special day for our family each year for 18 years now.

You see, we lost my Grandma Helen 18 years ago this August. 

In some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday.  I still remember my mom walking into our kitchen in the early hours of the morning, after arriving home from the hospital, to tell me she was gone.  The way it felt when my breath caught in my chest and my stomach dropped when she told me somehow still seems fresh.  How can it possibly have been 18 years already?

In some ways, it seems like it's been a lifetime.  Our family has grown and grown and grown -- with marriages and births -- by leaps and bounds in that time.  It's hard for me to remember a time when my husband wasn't part of my life, but he didn't even enter the picture until after she had passed away.  He never actually got to meet her in person.  How can it possibly have been only 18 years ago?  

She may have left us 18 years ago, but she is still so very, very much with us.  

She is part of our family; then, now and forever.

She's here in the laughter, the smiles, the tears.

She's here in the quiet moments, in the loud chaos.

She's here in my sister's ability to clip and organize and find every coupon on the face of the earth.  

She's here every time anyone in our family eats at Rainbow Grill or drinks a Pepsi or eats Saltine crackers.  

She's here in the wedding band my grandpa still wears on his left hand to this day.

She's here in the way my aunts make holiday gatherings feel like celebrations and truly special days by gathering us all together.  

She's here in my ability to eat nothing but corn for dinner and be completely happy.

She's here in the way my mom goes to just about every craft show possible, and usually finds something cute for her grandkids every time she's there.

She's here in my three cousins who never met her in person, but know her and love her as Angel Grandma.  

She's here in the way my uncles will attend any sporting event of any member in our family to cheer them on, whether it's varsity basketball or 4-year-old soccer.

She's here in the way my cousins and I laugh and tease each other, often more like siblings than cousins.

She's here in the height (or lack of height...) of my own children.  

She's here in the way family is so important to all of us, and how we all support each other.

She may no longer walk this earth with us, but she is very much still with all of us -- day in, day out -- but especially so on this day.  I know it makes her heart happy as she watches her husband, her children, their spouses, her grandchildren and their spouses, and now her great-grandchildren, together.  I know she can't help but smile as she watches us all laughing, joking, playing, and just being a family together.  

That's exactly how she would have wanted us to celebrate.  Together.

She may be gone, but she is still here.  

Grandma Helen, thanks for all you taught all of us, and how you loved all of us.  You Are a Good Mom.  You are a Great Mom.  Then, now, forever, for always.  We love you and miss you!

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How I Love Vacation

Ahhhh....

So this is what I've been looking at the past 10 days.  Needless to say, it beat out my computer. 

Every.  Single.  Day.  

Ok, I shouldn't say that.  My poor computer never even had a shot, as I left it back home.  Because I knew it would be up against that all week.  And ice cream.  And camp fires.  And reading real live books.  

And most of all, my family.  

Many family traditions were carried on, including camp fires on the beach at night, listening to my husband, his brother and his dad have "jam sessions" at the campground, and trips into town for ice cream.  Lots and lots and lots of ice cream.  

New ones were made, like my own children zipping around the campground on their bikes and playing on the beach with their headlamps well past sunset. 

Today was a day of settling back into reality, as we packed up the campsite, drove back home, and spent most of the afternoon unpacking, doing laundry, and then doing more laundry. 

(Remember when you were a kid and you just went on vacation?  And then you just came home from vacation?  I had no idea the lengths that were went to leading up to and coming home from such adventures...)

So all that to say it was an amazing week and a half spent with amazing people, including my brother-in-laws who now live out of state, watching amazing memories be made.  It's been awhile since I've had any new posts here, but I'm looking forward to getting back in the swing of things now that we're back home.  

Although if I miss a post here or there, you can just assume I'm still buried under a pile of camping laundry somewhere...

When you take a break from your normal routine, You Are a Good Mom.  

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Sugar Packets and Chicken Tetrazzini

Sugar Packets, Anyone?
[Disclaimer:  For this story to make sense, you need to have this information.  On my mom's side of the family, I am the oldest cousin.  There.  I said it.  OLDEST.  My youngest cousin is 9-years-old.  I'm not going to tell you how big of an age gap that creates, but it spans upwards of two decades.]

Any time my cousin can join us for any type of adventure, or even just coming over to play at our house, it is a very good day.  My kids absolutely adore her (as do I) and any fighting or bickering between brother and sister instantly evaporates the second she walks in.  She is creative and funny and loving and patient and all-around incredible.

She is also a big part of an "everyday" kind of moment that became "extraordinary" before my very eyes.     

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin joined us for a grand adventure to the Children's Museum.  How do you follow such an outing?  Well, by going out to lunch, of course.  So out to lunch we went.   

I ordered our food, then got the 3 kids settled at a table while I ventured off to gather silverware and drinks.  (This whole process was made entirely possible by having an awesome 9-year-old there.  Had she not been there, I'd have been trudging my kids all over to get drinks, napkins...no, wait right there.  Had she not been there, I would have zipped them through a drive-thru on our way home!)  After getting everyone's drinks, utensils and a huge pile of napkins, I headed back to the table to wait for our food to be delivered.  I started to lay everything out on the table and was listening in on the conversation at hand.

"And then you can take one sugar packet or the whole row.  You get to pick.  But if you take the last one, then you lose."

I instantly knew what my cousin was talking about.  I didn't have to see what she was doing or ask any further questions.  I knew.  I knew in my head.  I knew in my heart.

I looked at the table, and sure enough, she had sugar packets laid neatly in rows of diminishing lengths between her and my almost five-year-old son.

She was patiently teaching him a game my grandpa had taught me many, many years ago, when I was about my son's age.  It was one of many classic restaurant games my grandpa had taught me over the years.  It ranks right up there with York Peppermint "suckers" on toothpicks, too.

I think my granpda has taught that game to every single one of his nine grandkids, and played countless matches to keep the peace and pass many, many minutes of waiting for food over the years.  

It's hard to find the words, but to see my cousin teaching it to my son was amazing.  Amazing to see part of my own childhood being passed on to my son.  Amazing that despite our age gap, my 9-year-old cousin and I have this piece of shared history, of common experience.  Amazing that certain things pass the test of time, and will continue to be shared and passed on to generation after generation.

I'd Know That Tetrazzini Anywhere
My grandma on my dad's side of the family made hands-down the best chicken tetrazzini of all time.  

Of.  All.  Time.  

I am not exaggerating or elaborating here.  This is just a fact.  There is something about it that was just delicious.  The noodles.  The mushrooms.  The chicken.  The sauce...oh, the sauce!  I am getting hungry just thinking about it now.

I know some people a lot of "food memories" from their childhoods.  I am not one of those people.  

My grandma's chicken tetrazzini, however, is the exception to the rule for me.

The funny thing is, I had no idea that I actually had even a single "food memory" from my childhood until I got married.

From one of my bridal showers, I had received lots of recipe cards in an adorable little recipe box as a gift.  Cooking is neither a passion nor a talent of mine, so I clearly remember hauling that box of recipe cards out like it was a lifeline when I was a newlywed.  (Wait, what?  We're supposed to eat?  Like real food and real meals?)  

As I flipped through the cards one week, I came across a recipe for chicken tetrazzini, scribed in my aunt's unmistakable handwriting.  I pulled it out, thinking "Hmm, that sounds good.  Even better, I actually know what all the ingredients are on this very short ingredient list.  Sold."  I added the necessary items to my grocery shopping list, and was off to Meijer.

I will spare you the details of actually making this meal, but when I sat down to dinner with my husband and took my first bite of chicken tetrazzini, I was in shock.  It was like I traveled back in time 20 years and was sitting at her dining room table.  I could picture the white dish she used to serve it in.  I could picture the chandelier over the black dining room table.  I could picture my sister, my dad and my grandpa sitting around the table as she carried the meal in from the kitchen.  (Not the rolls, mind you.  Never the rolls.  Those were always forgotten...another cherished family story!)    

Needless to say, this had nothing to do with my cooking.  I simply carried out the steps written on the card by my aunt.  But by sharing this recipe, my aunt has re-shared with me part of my childhood I didn't know I had forgotten.  This dish has taken me there in an instant.  It was a gift she had given me, passed down from her mom to her and from her, thankfully, to me.  

Generation to generation to generation.

My grandmother passed away when I was 11 years old.  That was not nearly enough time with her, but I am thankful for those 11 years.  I am thankful for all she shared with me...her kindness, her compassion, her humor, her wisdom, and her amazing chicken tetrazzini.  I will forever think of her every single time I make it.

When the Everyday Becomes the Extraordinary
I feel beyond blessed to have these precious moments, these pieces of everyday life, to serve as reminders of those who have come before me.  I am so very thankful to be part of incredible families that have generational ties and connections.  I consider it a privilege to have been given memories and experiences and stories from my grandparents, great aunts and great uncles; from my parents, aunts and uncles.  It will be my honor to continue to pass these things on to my own children, and someday grandchildren, and to add our own new memories and experiences and stories to the mix, too.

It doesn't have to be anything special or anything grand.

It is shared with family, and then re-shared and re-shared and re-lived and re-lived countless times.

The everyday becomes the extraordinary.

Sugar Packets and Chicken Tetrazzini.

You Are a Good Mom, and just as there were Good Moms before you, there will be Good Moms after you.   What have you received?  What are you passing on?  When life and love and laughter are passed from generation to generation, extraordinary things happen.

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