"Parent"dox: When Your Baby Sister is All Grown Up

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #26:  When Your Baby Sister is All Grown Up

Tomorrow is my baby sister's birthday, which makes tonight her "Birthday Eve."  

Tonight, we celebrated her birthday at her house eating pizza, cupcakes and decorating pumpkins.

While we were driving home, it hit me in very strange way...my baby sister is all grown up.  

We were at her house, with her and her husband, with a yummy dinner and fun activities for my kids to do while we there, and her adorable, sweet daughter smiling and being cuddled through all of it.

She is all grown up.  I don't know exactly when it happened, but it happened.  She is all grown up.  And even though my 13-year-old self would never, ever believe I'd ever be saying this, she turned out pretty awesome.  

For her birthday, I'm sharing the speech I gave at her wedding reception just under 3 years ago.  

Happy Birthday, Baby Sis!  I love you!! ****************************************************************************************
What an amazing day for two amazing people!  The reception looks amazing, and the ceremony was beautiful.  Now you know, Katie, Brian has had to listen to you and agree with you a lot during this whole wedding planning process.  So don't worry if Brian doesn't listen to you or agree with you after today...you do realize that you are allowed to have 15 more husbands. I even heard Father Andy say so at the ceremony today. Remember? FOUR better, FOUR worse, FOUR richer, and FOUR poorer!!  (Although I do think he is THE BEST and only ONE you will ever need!

It’s hard to believe my “little sister’s” wedding day is here!  Growing up, I think we disagreed just that one time...or maybe more than once...I don't exactly remember, but I do remember both Mom and Dad telling us "You only have one sister.  You better work it out.  Someday, she will be your best friend!"  I remember rolling my eyes and mumbling lots of things under my breath more than once about that mantra as it was drilled into our heads.  I also remember thinking "I only have one sister....THANK GOD!" on more than one occasion.  

And it started early!  Like when you were born, and came home from the hospital and I asked if you could spend the night at our house…then asked the very next day if Mom and Dad could PLEASE take you back now.  And I thought THANK GOD I only have one sister when we were playing catch in the basement, and instead of catching the ball, you decided to duck, and the softball shattered the window.  And I thought THANK GOD I only have one sister when we attacked each other with markers, covering each other from head to toe, in the battle that came to be know in our house simply as “Marker Wars.” 

And I hate to say it, but this has to be music to Mom and Dad's ears:  You were right.....YES, MOM AND DAD, YOU…WERE…RIGHT, My little sister has indeed become my best friend.  A lot has changed in the 28 years we've spent together, but my thought is still the same...THANK GOD I have one sister.  I THANK GOD for giving me the gift of a sister and best friend.  

Someone who is smart, hilarious, beautiful, both inside and out, who will laugh with me, cry with me, listen to me, tell me the truth, not just what I want to hear, and be there for me for always.  THANK GOD I have a sister who is the one person who has truly gone through life with me, the ups and the downs, and understands things about who I am and why I am a little bit crazy, in a way no one else can.  THANK GOD I have a sister who knows what I am thinking without exchanging words, just exchanging a glance.  THANK GOD I have a sister to call, or who can call me, when no one else understands what's going on.  THANK GOD I have a sister who let me (well, I guess "let me" is a relative term...) boss her around teaching her dances and making her do "shows", a sister who will help wrap a Christmas gift at 2am by throwing it in a box with a blanket and brick, a sister who will create masterpieces out of Triscuits and Easy Cheese.  And now seeing my children begin to play with each other, interact with each other, and love each other, I THANK GOD even more I had a sister and I realize a relationship with a sibling is not one to be taken for granted.

Today, I THANK GOD again, but this time for the amazing man He has chosen as my "little sister's" husband.  Brian, welcome to our crazy family, and good luck. From the time you and Katie started dating...again...I think we have ALL been hoping and praying this day would come! (And it actually arrived a week sooner than we originally thought...even better.)

You are a man of character and integrity, and you get my sister (yup, after today she's all yours....)  No, really, you GET my sister, and it warms my heart to know she is marrying a man who sees her and loves her for who she really is.  She is so happy, and is completely and totally herself, when she is with you.  She has a twinkle in her eye, a bounce in her step, and genuine happiness in her laugh since you came into her life.   I also THANK GOD for the incredible family Katie is joining today.  They are an amazing family, who are caring, hilarious and will keep a good eye on her.  They have been nothing but welcoming to her and our entire family.  It truly feels like today is a union of not just two people, but two families. 

Katie, I haven't told you nearly enough, but I have always looked up to you.  I know I'm the big sister, and I was the one who was supposed to be "teaching you things" but I feel like I have learned far more from you than I ever taught you.  I have always been amazed by your ability to make the best of any situation, your ability to put other people at ease, your ability to go with the flow, and your incredible talent to make people laugh.  You speak your mind and say the things that need to be said, and you do it with humor and grace.  You are so very outgoing, and you have the kind of magnetic personality that people are drawn to.  You never cease to amaze me.  You make me laugh whenever we are together.  

You have been so many things to so many people: daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, cousin, aunt, sister-in-law, friend, fiancée, manager; and today you take on new roles....bride, wife, daughter-in-law.  You have handled these roles with kindness, commitment and love, and I know as you will continue to do so now as you begin this new chapter of life.  It is an honor to be standing next to you today, and it is an honor to see you marry your best friend in the same dress that I married my best friend in 6 1/2 years ago. 

Katie and Brian, it is simply awesome to around the two of you together.  You demonstrate that "once in a lifetime" kind of love and friendship that is rare and beautiful.  You bring out the best in one another, and support and encourage one another. It is so exciting to think about what your future together holds (hopefully lots of cousins for my kids....I'm just sayin'....) and the many lives you will both continue to touch and uplift.  

There will be tough times, and it won't always be easy, but take a minute and look around this room.  Look at all of the family and friends that are here in this room, and think of those family and friends that are here with you in spirit today, including angel Grandmas and Grandpas.  We are all here for you, in both good times and in bad times, to support you along your journey, and encourage you when times do get tough.  First and foremost, you have God, you have one another, but always remember, you have all of us.  You are never, NEVER alone.  You are both so very, very loved, today and always. 

So if you'll raise your glasses, I think it is fitting to close with this Irish Wedding Blessing:  May God be with you and bless you.  May you see your children's children.  May you be poor in misfortunes and rich in blessings.  May you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.

Slainte!

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To my baby sister, You Are a Good Mom.  You Are an Amazing Mom.  You Are an Incredible Mom.  I still THANK GOD that you are my sister, my children's aunt, and my niece's mom.  

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A Tooth Fairy Favor

Have you ever been blessed with "lifetime" friends?  I'm talking about people who are dear, dear friends, and you just "do life" with them.  You know they're going to be around, throughout your life, no matter what.  Distance, time, whatever; it doesn't matter, because they'll be there.

We are very, very fortunate to have many special "lifetime" friends in our lives.

(If you're reading this and wondering if I'm talking about you, I most definitely am.)

One of our "lifetime" friends is my husband's college roommate and his wife, and their two children.  Without even planning it, each of our children was born within 4 months of each of their children.  

We are quite literally "doing life" with them.  

When we get together, our kids love to play together.  They are at just about the same stages and interested in the same things.  Ever since our kids have been babies, we've been able to talk and share with each other about the same questions and concerns and wonderings and milestones our kids were approaching or struggling with, and that is true to this day.  Luckily for us, their oldest child is 4 months older than our oldest child, so these "lifetime" friends field a lot of things just enough ahead of us to warn us what's coming down the road.

This very thing happened just two days ago.

My friend posted that her daughter lost her first tooth.

My first thought:  How exciting!! Losing that first tooth is such a big deal and a rite of passage!  How fun!

My second thought:  Oh my goodness.  That means this is probably coming around the bend soon for my son.  

My third thought:  Holy.  Crap.  I am completely unprepared for this huge life experience for my own kid!  (Keep in mind, I am a natural born worrier...) 

Honestly, my son doesn't even have so much as a wiggle to any of his little teeth, so I know I've got some time, but losing teeth wasn't even on my Mom Radar yet.  (This is another benefit to "doing life" with lifetime friends...it's like a build in safety net.  I get reminded of and warned about all the millions of things I would otherwise forget.)

What got me thinking, though, was what is protocol going to be in our house when a tooth is lost?  (These are the parenting decisions you have to make that no one warns you about.)  I saw that adorable picture of their sweet, toothless daughter, and realized the Tooth Fairy would be making her inaugural visit that night at her house, and I realized I had absolutely no idea what that will look like here.

So I'm throwing it out to you guys...  What is Tooth Fairy protocol at your house?  (Or what do imagine it will look like?)  What does she (I'm guessing it's a she...maybe at your house it's a he?) bring?  If it's money, how much?  If it's not money, what is it?  Any special Tooth Fairy traditions?  Where does the lost tooth wait for the Tooth Fairy's arrival?  (under the pillow seems so very complicated...)

And perhaps most importantly for this Mom...  How does the Tooth Fairy NOT wake the loser of the tooth up?  How does the Tooth Fairy STAY AWAKE to remember to do so?  

Thanks in advance for your help.  Feel free to pass this post on to any other Moms you know who can weigh in on this subject, or might benefit from getting ideas from others, too.  Open to any and all suggestions!!

I'm fairly certain that now that I've posed these questions, my son won't lose a tooth until the 3rd grade.  Had I not asked, he would have come home from school with a missing tooth tonight.

When you can help out other Moms with their "firsts", You Are a Good Mom.

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"Parent"dox: When a Gum Commercial Makes You Cry

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #23:  When a Gum Commercial Makes You Cry

Nothing too earth shaking or ground breaking tonight.  Just this video clip of an Extra Gum commercial.

It does come with a warning, however.

It made me cry.

Yup.  You read that correctly.  A gum commercial.  Made me cry.

Gum is minty and bubbly and happy and in no way a tear-provoking product.  Yet I cried.

"Parent"dox.

So, with that said, enjoy this lovely little video "parent"dox tonight.  

(Spoiler alert...watch the video before you read the rest of the post below if you don't want to have any part of the video, well, spoiled...)

Maybe it's just me.  

Maybe I'm a little over emotional in general (insert husband silently nodding here...).  

Maybe it's because I just sent my own kids to kindergarten and preschool last week and it seems like they're growing up at the speed of light.  

Maybe it's because my own Dad was the one who sent me this video.

Whatever it was, I watched it and it made me happy and sad and all sorts of other crazy emotions all at the same time.  

And it made me cry.

Bottom line, though, it made me so very thankful to be a parent.  Thankful for all of it...for the little moments, the big moments, the fun moments, the hard moments, and everything in between. 

I'm thankful that I get to be there for it with my kids.  

It was a good reminder for me to focus on really being there in the day to day, even if it's with something as seemingly small as a gum wrapper.

[Just as a sidenote, the box falling over and opening at the end totally got me.  I maybe should have put an extra warning about the whole possibility of tears thing for Dads of daughters, and an extra EXTRA warning for anyone who sent their child off to college in the last few weeks.  Sorry about that.]

What were your thoughts on this gum commercial?  Do you have any other commercials that make you cry?  Do you get more emotional about commercials or movies or TV shows since you've become a parent?

    
Even if a gum commercial can make you cry, You Are a Good Mom.

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To My Son on His First Day of School

To My Son...

Today is your very first day of kindergarten.  

Your backpack is zipped up.  Your lunch is packed.  Your water bottle is topped off.  

You are ready to go.

Every day for the last week, you have started your day by asking me "Mom, is today my first day of school?"  You eagerly sprinkled your 'Ready Confetti' from your teacher under your pillow last night to help you get a good night's rest. You've been jumping up and down every time someone so much as mentions the word "kindergarten" in your presence.

I suppose those things really just describe the "excited" part of being ready to go.

But I've also seen the "prepared" part of being ready to go in you, too.

You are a good problem solver.  You know how to zip and unzip your lunch box.  You are a good listener.  You love to learn new things.  You introduce yourself to new kids, and invite them to play.  You know exactly where your classroom, your locker, your desk are.  You can follow directions.  You can ask questions and ask for help when you need it.  You know how to stand up for yourself.  I've seen you grow and develop confidence in yourself and do all these things.  

I know you are ready, in every sense of the word.

So I guess the real question is: Am I ready?

Am I ready to put you on that bus?  Am I ready to admit that you really don't need me to help you eat lunch every day?  Am I ready to accept that you will make friends that I don't know and haven't met first?  Am I ready to admit that the sweet baby boy I held in my arms what seems like moments ago is ready to walk into his kindergarten classroom and wave good-bye?

Here's the funny thing about being a parent...the answers to those questions are irrelevant.

It doesn't really matter if I'm ready or not, because you are.  And you won't wait around for me to 'be ready' because that's not how it works, and that's not how it should work.  Honestly, I don't know that I'll ever truly be ready for any part of you growing up, whether it's your first day of kindergarten or your first day of college.

But that's OK.  

Because you are ready.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.  I am thankful that you are excited and confident and eager and ready.  It is a blessing to this Mom's heart.  

While I may not be nearly as ready as you are, I do know I am just as excited as you are about today.  So much lies ahead, and today simply marks the first step in an amazing journey for you.  You are going to experience so many "firsts" this year, and I can't wait to hear all about them from your thrilled little face while you jump up and down the entire time you're telling me about it.  There is so much for you to learn and do and see and experience.  Your whole world is going to open up to be so much bigger this year.  

As your world does grow by leaps and bounds when you walk in the doors of that school, my prayer for you is that you are YOU.  That you are 100% totally and completely YOU.  God has made you this kind, fun-loving, compassionate, goofy, smart boy, and He needs you to be YOU.  Your teacher and your classmates need you to be YOU.  The world needs you to be YOU. 

And do you know why?
  
Because you are a pretty incredible kid.  You are an incredible kid just by being YOU.  You have so much to offer this world, and in order to do that, you need to be YOU.

I hope you follow your heart and make choices based on what you know to be true and right and kind.  I hope you have lots of chances to speak what's on your mind, and share your thoughts in the way only you can.  I hope you find a peace and confidence to just be yourself and light up the room the way I've seen you do countless times.  I hope you trust yourself and believe in yourself and stay true to yourself.   

This will be true for your first day of kindergarten, your first day of high school, and your first day at your first job.  

I think that's what gets me about this day.  I'm going to blink and I'm going to be sharing these same words with you on your first day of high school, and over the phone with you on your first day at your first job.  Today is a reminder of just how fast it all goes and how precious these moments with you are.  Today is also a reminder of all the possibilities that life has to offer you.

So today, if you happen to see me cry or catch my breath as I wave good bye to you when the bus pulls away, please know they are tears of absolute joy and pride and excitement and gratitude on my part.  I am so very honored that I get to be your mom, and have a front row seat to watch you grow up.  I am thrilled to be on this journey with you.  

I hope you have a fantastic first day of kindergarten, and I absolutely can't wait to hear every single detail from you tonight at dinner.  

I love you to the moon and back!
Mom

Ready or not, You're a Good Mom.

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Just a Little While Longer

"Ahh!! Look out!  Look out!"

"Planes are going everywhere!   There's a big accident!"

"Ahhh!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!"

"Dusty Crophopper is coming through!  He's coming up this way!  Dusty Crophopper!"

That is the play by play I can hear coming from my son's bedroom right now.  My daughter is in there with him, and they are zooming their airplanes all over the place, and every once in awhile, crashing into one another.

Their teeth have been brushed, their stories have been read, and their little selves have been tucked in tight.  

They should be in their own rooms, quietly laying in their beds and drifting off to dreamland.

Except they're not.

I should be telling my daughter to go back to her room and telling my son to put the toys away and go to sleep.

Except I'm not.

I'm laying here in my bed.  I'm listening to them create their own imaginary world above the clouds.  I'm taking in an impromptu playtime of them just being brother and sister and actually enjoying one another.  I'm soaking up just one more night of them being 5 and 3.  

These moments will be gone much too soon.  

"Back-to-school" is just around the corner, and with it comes schedule and routine and consistency.  While I am a lover of all things schedule and routine and consistent, I know it also means no more 'extended' bedtimes or my little pilots 'sneaking' out of bed to squeeze in a few more minutes of play with each other.  Once school starts, they'll be passed out at the dinner table if I don't keep them awake with the promise of dessert.  If they do stay awake beyond a scoop of ice cream and their normal bedtime routine, I'll have no choice but to march their little buns to their respective beds when I hear their airplane dialogue begin.  

These moments will be gone much too soon.  

"Back-to-school" will come this year, and next year, and the year after that.  Elementary school will become middle school will become high school.  Before I know it, the toy airplanes will be packed away.  They won't need me to brush their teeth before bed or read them stories.  Sneaking out of bed to talk to their brother or sister will not be something they consider "fun."  All too soon, I'll be laying in bed listening not to their voices exchanging airplane dialogue, but for the sound of their car making it safely into the driveway.  

So just for tonight, just for a little while longer, I'll let them be pilots.  

I'll let them soar and crash and fly and zoom.  

I'll let them think I don't know they're still awake, and I'll listen in on their little world. 

I'll hang on to summer for one more night.  

I'll hang on to them at 5 and 3 for one more night.

"Dusty Crophopper...to the rescue!"

Even when you let them stay up just a few minutes longer than you should, You're a Good Mom. 

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To My Son on His Birthday

To My Son...

In five short years, you have blessed me beyond my wildest dreams and filled our house with much love and laughter.  You forever changed my life in ways I couldn't have imagined before you arrived.  You have brought unspeakable joy to my life.  What I am most thankful for, however, is all you have been teaching me, each and every day, for the past five years.

You have taught me to be true to my word, and how important it is to follow through on what I say.  

You have taught me to ask questions about everything; to wonder, to inquire, to be curious.

You have taught me all about dinosaurs and cars and bugs and sea creatures (as you like to call them) and frogs.

You have taught me to be thoughtful with my words and my actions, as little ears are always listening and little eyes are always watching.

You have taught me to never underestimate you.  From the time you were an infant, you have constantly surprised me with things you could learn and do if simply given the chance.  (You amazed us all when you even knew what a 'parallelogram' was before your second birthday rolled around.)

You have taught me what "unconditional love" truly means.

You have taught me that it's OK to just be still and be quiet for a little while.  That it's OK to just hang out in my room if I need to when the world can get just a little bit overwhelming, as you like to do sometimes.

You taught me how to be a Mom.  You gave me that title five years ago.  I know I'm still learning every step of the way.  Thanks for being patient with me.

You have taught me that a good, solid belly laugh can fix just about anything.

Even this very blog post is a testament to all you are teaching me.  

It is an entire month late, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Today, you are actually five years and ONE MONTH old.  

And I am delighted that this blog post is coming a month late.  

Your detail-oriented, deadline-driven Mom is delighted that this blog post is coming a month late.  

And I have you -- and all you are teaching me -- to thank for that.

The day of your birthday we were in the middle of a week-long vacation at the beach.  We started the day with birthday doughnuts at the cottage, followed by opening your presents from your Mom and Dad and your sister.  We went on a bike ride downtown, where you picked out a special kite, as you'd been asking for one for a few weeks leading up to your birthday.  We ate Pronto Pups by the channel at lunch per your request, and you picked a restaurant where you could have a hamburger for dinner.  You chose ice cream at your favorite ice cream spot for dessert, and we finished the day playing at the beach as the sun set and the waves rolled on the shore.  It truly was an incredible day, and I felt so blessed to spend every second of it with you.

I wouldn't have traded a single second of that day to sit down at my computer and write a blog post, even if it was about my favorite boy in the entire universe.

In the month since your birthday, we have been here, there and everywhere.  It has been a jam-packed month, full of love, laughter, family and friends.  There have been birthday parties, graduations, camping trips, cottage vacations, visits to lakes and beaches, parades, fireworks, cookouts, and more ice cream cones than I care to admit.  I wouldn't have traded any of those busy days with you to sit down at my computer.

And that, my son, is the very most important thing you are teaching me.  You are teaching me how important it is to be present, to be there with you; really with you, every chance I get.  You are teaching me how precious these moments are, and just how fast five years can truly go.

A blog post can wait.  An email can wait.  A phone call can wait.  Because you won't wait.  You can't wait.  Your only job right now is to keep growing and learning and becoming the amazing kid you ARE.  I get the chance to be your Mom at age five, and age five and one month, and age five and two months once -- ONCE -- that's it.  So all that other stuff?  It can wait.  You are more important.  You are more delightful.  You are more incredible.  

Thank you for teaching me that.  

These years are so very precious, and are passing by way too fast already.  I feel like I blinked and you are already five.  FIVE!  When did that happen?  It could not have possibly been five years since we got to meet your sweet face just minutes before midnight.  Since you needed me to do absolutely everything for you.  Since you could rest in my arm and fit between my elbow and my fingertips.

Somehow, though, the calendar says it has indeed been five years.  

And in these five years you have been teaching me these lessons of being present, of being truly with you, just by be being you. 

You have taught me to stop and look when you say "Mommy, watch this!"  You have taught me to slow down and inspect the ants with you when we go on a walk together.  You have taught me to get out of my chair and chase you around the yard, and to get off the couch and wrestle you on the floor.  You had no idea you were giving these lessons each and every day, but you have been the absolute best teacher I could ask for.  I know I'll need to be reminded of these lessons when the "stuff" of life can creep in and take start to take over.  Please be patient with me, and just keep reminding me, to be present, to be there, to truly be with you, every chance I get.

You are growing up so very fast, but also so very well.  I could not possibly love you any more or be more proud of you.  You are becoming such a funny, smart, thoughtful, inquisitive boy.  You have an incredibly kind and giving heart, and you already have great intuition about other people's feelings.  You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and love to seek order in all things.  You have a love for learning, and are constantly asking questions about the world around you.  Dad and I are continually amazed at your memory, too.  You have an infectious laugh, and you are willing to jump in and meet new people without hesitation.  You love to play and run and wrestle and just soak up all that life has to offer.  You are an amazing big brother to your sister.  You look out for her, you stick up for her and you comfort her in a way no one else can.  

My wish for you is that you may remain true to you -- to who you are -- as you continue to grow and develop into the child, teenager and man God created you to be.  May you remain as comfortable and confident in your own skin as you are now.  May you continue to follow your passions and your dreams, and may you always have the courage to do what is right in your heart.  May you always know how much Dad and I love you, and that we are always here for you, no matter what.

I love you so much!
Mom

You are my son.  My sweet, precious gift.  For you, everyday, I strive to live up to those words "You Are a Good Mom."  I hope every now and then, I hit the mark!  I love you to the moon and back!

Sugar Packets and Chicken Tetrazzini

Sugar Packets, Anyone?
[Disclaimer:  For this story to make sense, you need to have this information.  On my mom's side of the family, I am the oldest cousin.  There.  I said it.  OLDEST.  My youngest cousin is 9-years-old.  I'm not going to tell you how big of an age gap that creates, but it spans upwards of two decades.]

Any time my cousin can join us for any type of adventure, or even just coming over to play at our house, it is a very good day.  My kids absolutely adore her (as do I) and any fighting or bickering between brother and sister instantly evaporates the second she walks in.  She is creative and funny and loving and patient and all-around incredible.

She is also a big part of an "everyday" kind of moment that became "extraordinary" before my very eyes.     

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin joined us for a grand adventure to the Children's Museum.  How do you follow such an outing?  Well, by going out to lunch, of course.  So out to lunch we went.   

I ordered our food, then got the 3 kids settled at a table while I ventured off to gather silverware and drinks.  (This whole process was made entirely possible by having an awesome 9-year-old there.  Had she not been there, I'd have been trudging my kids all over to get drinks, napkins...no, wait right there.  Had she not been there, I would have zipped them through a drive-thru on our way home!)  After getting everyone's drinks, utensils and a huge pile of napkins, I headed back to the table to wait for our food to be delivered.  I started to lay everything out on the table and was listening in on the conversation at hand.

"And then you can take one sugar packet or the whole row.  You get to pick.  But if you take the last one, then you lose."

I instantly knew what my cousin was talking about.  I didn't have to see what she was doing or ask any further questions.  I knew.  I knew in my head.  I knew in my heart.

I looked at the table, and sure enough, she had sugar packets laid neatly in rows of diminishing lengths between her and my almost five-year-old son.

She was patiently teaching him a game my grandpa had taught me many, many years ago, when I was about my son's age.  It was one of many classic restaurant games my grandpa had taught me over the years.  It ranks right up there with York Peppermint "suckers" on toothpicks, too.

I think my granpda has taught that game to every single one of his nine grandkids, and played countless matches to keep the peace and pass many, many minutes of waiting for food over the years.  

It's hard to find the words, but to see my cousin teaching it to my son was amazing.  Amazing to see part of my own childhood being passed on to my son.  Amazing that despite our age gap, my 9-year-old cousin and I have this piece of shared history, of common experience.  Amazing that certain things pass the test of time, and will continue to be shared and passed on to generation after generation.

I'd Know That Tetrazzini Anywhere
My grandma on my dad's side of the family made hands-down the best chicken tetrazzini of all time.  

Of.  All.  Time.  

I am not exaggerating or elaborating here.  This is just a fact.  There is something about it that was just delicious.  The noodles.  The mushrooms.  The chicken.  The sauce...oh, the sauce!  I am getting hungry just thinking about it now.

I know some people a lot of "food memories" from their childhoods.  I am not one of those people.  

My grandma's chicken tetrazzini, however, is the exception to the rule for me.

The funny thing is, I had no idea that I actually had even a single "food memory" from my childhood until I got married.

From one of my bridal showers, I had received lots of recipe cards in an adorable little recipe box as a gift.  Cooking is neither a passion nor a talent of mine, so I clearly remember hauling that box of recipe cards out like it was a lifeline when I was a newlywed.  (Wait, what?  We're supposed to eat?  Like real food and real meals?)  

As I flipped through the cards one week, I came across a recipe for chicken tetrazzini, scribed in my aunt's unmistakable handwriting.  I pulled it out, thinking "Hmm, that sounds good.  Even better, I actually know what all the ingredients are on this very short ingredient list.  Sold."  I added the necessary items to my grocery shopping list, and was off to Meijer.

I will spare you the details of actually making this meal, but when I sat down to dinner with my husband and took my first bite of chicken tetrazzini, I was in shock.  It was like I traveled back in time 20 years and was sitting at her dining room table.  I could picture the white dish she used to serve it in.  I could picture the chandelier over the black dining room table.  I could picture my sister, my dad and my grandpa sitting around the table as she carried the meal in from the kitchen.  (Not the rolls, mind you.  Never the rolls.  Those were always forgotten...another cherished family story!)    

Needless to say, this had nothing to do with my cooking.  I simply carried out the steps written on the card by my aunt.  But by sharing this recipe, my aunt has re-shared with me part of my childhood I didn't know I had forgotten.  This dish has taken me there in an instant.  It was a gift she had given me, passed down from her mom to her and from her, thankfully, to me.  

Generation to generation to generation.

My grandmother passed away when I was 11 years old.  That was not nearly enough time with her, but I am thankful for those 11 years.  I am thankful for all she shared with me...her kindness, her compassion, her humor, her wisdom, and her amazing chicken tetrazzini.  I will forever think of her every single time I make it.

When the Everyday Becomes the Extraordinary
I feel beyond blessed to have these precious moments, these pieces of everyday life, to serve as reminders of those who have come before me.  I am so very thankful to be part of incredible families that have generational ties and connections.  I consider it a privilege to have been given memories and experiences and stories from my grandparents, great aunts and great uncles; from my parents, aunts and uncles.  It will be my honor to continue to pass these things on to my own children, and someday grandchildren, and to add our own new memories and experiences and stories to the mix, too.

It doesn't have to be anything special or anything grand.

It is shared with family, and then re-shared and re-shared and re-lived and re-lived countless times.

The everyday becomes the extraordinary.

Sugar Packets and Chicken Tetrazzini.

You Are a Good Mom, and just as there were Good Moms before you, there will be Good Moms after you.   What have you received?  What are you passing on?  When life and love and laughter are passed from generation to generation, extraordinary things happen.

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"Parent"dox: Feeling ExcitedSadProudAnxiousEagerNostalgic

Sunday Night "Parent"dox #12: Feeling ExcitedSadProudAnxiousEager

I realized something this week.  My family is now entering into that "next phase" of life, where our kids are getting more involved in things, from sports to school to church to friends.  They are becoming "big kids" who do "big kid" things.

Beyond a couple nights of soccer and tball, a couple of "big kid" milestone events also worked their way into our week.  We had our son's kindergarten orientation meeting at school (yes, ladies and gentlemen, I said kindergarten!).  A few days later, we had his kindergarten move up meeting at church for moving from the preschool classroom to the school age program next fall.  And we capped off this "big kid" week with my daughter's 3rd birthday party today.  

That's some serious growing up action crammed into 6 days!

So, how am I feeling after this milestone-filled week?  I have one word.  

 ExcitedSadProudAnxiousEagerNostalgic

(Is that a word?  If not, I am officially submitting it to the people who determine such things to make it a word.  Because it should be.)

I stumbled into this "parent"dox after I tucked my son into bed the night of his kindergarten orientation meeting.  Going into that night, I thought I would simply be sad that my oldest was growing up so fast.  Clear cut.  Simple.  One emotion.  I knew what to expect.  

Parenting is a lot of things, but clear cut and simple it is not.  (Apparently I'm a slow learner on this one...)

So no, that night was no different than any other night of parenting thus far.  It was not clear cut.  It was not simple.  I didn't know what to expect.  

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a at least a little bit of sadness, but there was also so much more than that.  So much more that I hadn't anticipated.  

I was excited for all of the opportunities that kindergarten held for my son:  the things he will learn, the friends he will make, the more he will grow into his own incredible self.

I was incredibly proud of the little boy my son is becoming.  How he is learning and growing.  How he sat and listened, how he interacted with his soon-to-be classmates and teacher, how he seemed to soak up everything that night like a little sponge.

I was anxious about him going into this great big world all on his own.  Riding the bus, eating lunch at school, being at school all day.  The 'what if's' have already started piling up in my little prone-to-worrying brain.

I was eager for him to begin this journey.  I saw a sparkle in his eye as he toured his classroom and met his teacher.  There was pure joy on his face as he met the class pet fish, checked out the cozy reading corner, found out their were Legos in his classroom, took a ride on the school bus, ate ice cream in the cafeteria, and finally got to see the music room where he found out, yes indeed, there will be a show next year.  He was eager to do all these things, and that, in turn, filled me with an eagerness I hadn't anticipated. 

I was nostalgic as I kept thinking about how incredibly fast these last nearly 5 years of his life had flown by.  I thought about how it seemed like just yesterday he was a newborn, who needed me for everything, and now he was a "big kid" who could do so much on his own.  I thought about how his cousin had entered kindergarten when he was only 2 months old.  She'll be heading off to 4th grade this fall.  How fast would the next 5 years go for my son?  And the next 5 after that?  

The thing that was amazing to me is I was truly feeling all of these things at the same time.  An then at the church kindergarten meeting, I felt them all over again.  And the same thing at my daughter's birthday party.  Feeling so many big emotions, that were so very different from one another, all at the same time.

Stretching your Capacity to Feel
I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, my dad told me "When you are a parent, you realize the capacity for human emotion.  When I became a dad, my capacity to 'feel' was stretched farther than I ever imagined it could be, in all directions possible."  

At the time, I remember thinking "Huh.  That's a lovely little sentiment.  He should sell that to Hallmark or something."  

Now that my own two kiddos are here, I am starting to understand and appreciate what he was saying.  With a 5 and 3 year old, I'm guessing it's still just the tip of the iceberg.  I'm guessing I've still got a long was to go, and a lot more "understanding" and "appreciating" that will come during the teenage years...with the rest to follow.  But I am starting to get...I mean really get...what he meant by that.  The capacity to feel, in all directions, is truly stretched and pushed to the limit when you become a parent.  I had no idea how deeply I could love and care for someone, how deeply I could feel pain and sorrow, how happy, frustrated, proud, worried, amazed I could feel.  It was different than all those amazing feelings I've had for my family, for my , for my incredible spouse.  This was my child.

These emotions somehow just felt "different."

At the same time, it has also made those feelings I have for my family, my friends, for my incredible spouse that much deeper and bigger and wider.  My dad nailed it:  My capacity to 'feel' was stretched farther than I ever imagined it could be, in all directions possible.  And somehow, in one of life's great "parent"doxes, feel all those things at the same time.

How is it that your own parents become geniuses the second you become a parent yourself?  

I think next week's "parent"dox may already be writing itself...

When you feel a million different emotions all at the same time, You Are a Good Mom.

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To My Daughter on Her Birthday

To My Daughter...

Three years ago today, you made your grand entrance into this great big world.  In some ways, it feels like those three years have absolutely flown by, but in other ways, it feels like you've always been here and I simply can't remember what life was like before you were a part of our lives.

Three years ago today, I was past my due date by a day and had just gone through a week of lots of contractions.  More than once, Daddy and I thought we'd be heading to the hospital, only to find out it was a false alarm.  Knowing you and your flair for the dramatic, now I think it was you playing a little joke on us!  

Three years ago today, I had a contraction in the middle of the night.  And then another one a few hours later.  And then hopped in the shower around 5:30am and had two more and thought this might actually be something and I should probably wake your Dad up.  We called Grandma to come stay with your brother, and by 7:30am my contractions were pretty close together, pretty intense, and we were headed downtown to the hospital.

Three years ago today, the Riverbank Run was also taking place.  As in, thousands and thousands of people converging on downtown, which just so happens to be where the hospital is.  So as I gripped the arm rests and tried to breathe, your Dad navigated through closed road after closed road and herds of runners warming up for the race that was about to begin just as we neared the hospital.

Three years ago today, you arrived at 12:51pm, weighing 6 pounds, 12 ounces.  Daddy got to tell me you were a girl, and we decided on your name together.  I was completely overcome with emotion, and I remember a single, silent tear rolling down my cheek when they placed you in my arms.  I had a daughter.

Three years ago today, your big brother got to be the very first family member to meet you.  We were able to celebrate as a little family of four.  Those are some of my most precious memories.  Seeing him hold you and look at you and be amazed by you are images that are forever stored in my memory and tucked away in my heart.  I try to pull them out on the days when you guys are fighting over the same blue Lego piece, and there is a tub of 53 million of the exact same Lego pieces in the tub behind you.

Three years ago today, that very proud big brother got to walk into the waiting room full of your family, waiting to meet you, and eagerly announce "I have a little sister!"

Three years ago today, it was the day before Mother's Day.  You were absolutely without a doubt the very best Mother's Day gift I could have ever imagined.  You smelled better than any flowers, your kisses were sweeter than any candy and your eyes sparkled brighter than any jewelry I could have received.  You made me a mom for the second time, and I was completely and totally in love.  That, my dear, has never, and will never, change.

My sweet girl, I love your spunky, strong, independent spirit.  You are always finding a way to make me laugh or smile with your silly antics.  You know what you want, and you are not afraid to go for it. You are so full of life and love to try new things and new adventures.  You are the very best grocery shopper helper I could ask for.  You are loving and caring, and always seem to find creative ways to help others.  You love to sing, you love to dance, you love to be the center of attention.  You love to play outside and draw and swim and run and laugh...oh how you love to laugh.  You give the very best loves, even though you usually only give them on your terms.  You are such a quick learner, and are eager to keep up with your brother every step of the way.

May you continue to be completely and totally you. May you know how deeply and truly you are loved...by me, by your Dad, by your family, and most of all, by God.  May you dream big dreams, and have the courage to follow them.  May you know you will always, always, always have a place to call home.

I love you forever and for always!
Mommy

You are my daughter.  My sweet, precious gift.  For you, everyday, I strive to live up to those words "You Are a Good Mom."  I hope every now and then, I hit the mark!  I love you to the moon and back!

Thoughts On Becoming an Aunt

Happy One Week Birthday, Baby Hazel!!

One week ago today, I was waiting for the arrival of my beautiful niece.  It recently came to my attention that while I wrote about the waiting part, I never updated anyone on the arrival part. Just in case you were worried, my sister has not been in labor for the past 7 days.  She did, indeed, have her sweet baby girl!  

My niece was actually born about 30 minutes after I published my post about waiting.  I think it was her way of saying "This is the first of many, many times I will prove you wrong.  Go ahead and write about waiting, but I'm actually on my way here right now.  Just remember, I'm the one calling the shots here, Aunt Carrie."

I know I'm only a week into this whole aunt gig, but so far, it's pretty awesome.  Some of my "new aunt thoughts" thus far...

1. For every time I've had to say "no" to my own children, I will get to say "yes" a bazillion times over to my niece.
2. I will have a little girl to spoil ridiculously with all kinds of tiny outfits and barrettes and shoes and dresses and socks and tights and...
3. I can give her as many cookies as she wants at family Christmas before I get busted by her parents.
4. I get to hold and cuddle and rock a tiny little bundle of joy, but I also get to sleep at night.  (This may not actually be as true in real life as it is in theory.  My almost 3-year-old is having night terrors nearly every night, so there is not much sleep happening at our house right now.  But, I am not waking up to feed a baby, so there's that...)
5. I get to teach my niece lots of new things.  This makes me especially excited when I think back to all the things my sister has taught her niece and nephew.  My children now refer to "barking spiders" every time any type of wind escapes their little buns.  They also point out every single possible combination of blue and maize they can find, even to the extent that my son refused to eat two orange and brown M & M's I gave him because they were "not Michigan colors, Mom!"  Oh, how I cannot wait to teach my niece new things, too!
6. I can defer to her parents when she fills her diaper, spits up everywhere or needs to eat.
7. For the first time in 5 years, there will be a little one that I can play with and laugh with and dance with all I want, but don't have to be accountable for handling any crying, whining, arguing or disobeying.  (Don't worry, Katie, I'm sure she won't do any of those things.  Ever.  Purely hypothetical...)

I'm actually considering having a t-shirt created that says:

"Aunt:  All of the fun, none of the responsibility!" 

Let me know what size and color you would like yours printed in.

In all honesty, though, I am over-the-moon excited to walk alongside my sister in this grand adventure of parenting.  I am eager to support and help and be there for her, my brother-in-law and niece every step of the way.  I am excited for her to experience all that Motherhood has to offer.  She may have moments and experiences that intersect with mine; but I know her journey will also be full of moments and experiences that are entirely hers.  I am lucky that I will get to learn from her for years and years to come.

Throughout my sister's pregnancy,  I had a lot of "aunt" thoughts.  I thought about meeting my niece for the very first time.  I thought about holding her, snuggled in my arms.  I thought I had this whole "aunt" thing pretty well figured out.  I had already been down the Mom road and had two children of my own...how much different could this "aunt" thing really be?

But come time find out, there was also a lot that I didn't think about until that moment when life changed for our entire family at 2:05pm last Friday. 

I didn't think it was possible to be so proud of my little sister.

I didn't think it would be so so hard to say goodbye when it came time to leave and head back home, 3 hours away.

I didn't think I could be so much in love with someone else's baby.

I didn't think seeing my niece in an outfit my daughter wore when she was only days old would transport me back in time so quickly. 

I didn't think I would love talking about all things baby and mom-related with my sister, especially the "no one else will tell you this or discuss this with you unless you are sisters" stuff.

I didn't think about the gift it would be to watch my own parents be grandparents all over again.

I didn't think about how I would feel even closer with my sister when she stepped into the role of "mom" herself.  

I didn't think becoming an aunt would change my heart, my life, in the ways it already has.

You Are a Good Mom, even when you're not "the" mom.  Loving every single moment of being an aunt!  

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