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I have never been very good at waiting.
Christmas can never come soon enough.
I don't love sitting through previews before a movie starts (well, at least from what I remember from going to a movie at an actual movie theater in a previous life...)
Calling Comcast and being on hold for eternity is my least favorite activity, right behind going to the Secretary of State's Office to renew my license.
On the rare occasion my fingernails have nail polish on them, it is most definitely smudged because I can't seem to sit still quite long enough for them to dry.
It is not unusual for me to burn my mouth on a fresh-from-the-campfire marshmallow because I can't wait for it to cool down to a temperature that measures less than the surface of the sun.
I'm sure this is not news to anyone. I mean, really, who in their right mind really enjoys waiting?
No one. That's who.
So why am I writing the most obvious, unenlightened post in the history of the world?
Because I am right smack dab in the middle of one of the hardest "waits" of my life. And it was either write this post or wear a path in the carpet. So write it is.
I am sitting in the waiting room at the hospital just a few doors down from the room where my little sister is in labor. She is resting right now, with her incredible, supportive husband by her side. And we are all waiting.
I needed something to keep my mind busy, to keep my hands busy, and writing something seemed like the best option. That, coupled with the fact that I have no handiwork talents, such as knitting, sewing, cross-stitch, origami or basket weaving, so typing it is.
I am well aware that my sister is the one doing all the work here. Really, I should not even mention the word waiting, as she has been waiting 9 long months for this day to arrive. (But she has no idea I'm even writing this right now, so I guess I can just go for it. Sorry, sister, who is probably reading this while feeding your sweet baby girl in the middle of the night 5 days from now when you actually have a chance to read this...)
The anticipation and process of getting down here today is probably not helping this whole "waiting" business, either. My sister lives 3 hours away from me, and throughout her entire pregnancy I have hoped and prayed for above all, a safe delivery, but a close second was my hope and prayer that I would be able to be there when my sister was in labor and when my niece was born. Babies are cute and adorable and lovable, but predictable on time of arrival? Not so much. Being out of town and having 2 little ones of my own, I didn't know if that would be a possibility.
But it is. I am here. I am feeling beyond blessed to be here. If I have to wait, I am glad I get to do it here. I am glad I get to be a part of this day. Even it involves lots of waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting to meet my niece.
Waiting to hold her in my arms for the first time.
Waiting to hug my sister and brother-in-law.
Waiting to watch their first precious moments of Parenthood unfold.
Waiting for our family to grow once again.
Waiting to snap pictures that capture moments of a day that will be remembered forever.
Waiting for the memories and stories of this day that will be told over and over and over again in the years to come.
Waiting...
My amazing, strong, incredible sister, You Are a Good Mom. You are so very close to holding your baby girl, kissing her sweet face, and cherishing this amazing little person who is the very best parts of you and the very best parts of Brian all wrapped up in one perfect little bundle. I love all 3 of you with my whole heart!
There were a lot of things I thought I knew about being a Mom before I became a Mom. But come to find out, there were actually a lot of things I didn't know -- things no one could have just "told" me; things I had to experience for myself -- until I became a Mom.
Until I became a Mom, I didn't know...
...I'd run a full dishwasher on a daily basis.
...it would become commonplace to remove boogers from someone's nose other than my own.
...so many of my conversations would be about poop or pee...when, how much, what color...
..."nap time" would be the two sweetest words my tired ears could hope to hear.
...I'd keep my 2-year-old company by sitting on the bathroom floor and reading her books as she sat on the potty, and I'd actually be excited that day had arrived.
...my decisions would carry such weight; not just for me, but for my children and my family, too.
Until I became a Mom, I didn't know...
...the theme song from "Wonder Pets" and "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" would be sung nearly 'round the clock in my house...frequently, by me.
...just how difficult, yet important, carving out time for myself; time with my husband; time with my girlfriends would be in maintaining my own sanity.
...I'd hear my mother's words coming out of my own mouth.
...I would spend the night in a steam-filled bathroom with my croupy 4-year-old to make sure he could breathe, and I'd be full of worry and compassion, not frustration and impatience.
...there would permanently be Cheerios or graham cracker crumbs in some part of my house or car at any given time.
...I would want so badly to be able to take someone else's pain away and make it my own.
...the laundry would never, ever be "done" again.
Until I became a Mom, I didn't know...
...I would purposefully take the "long way" home, based on the sliver of hope that the extra time in the car would get my infant to fall asleep.
...I'd be able to have my heart nearly burst with love and adoration, just watching someone sleep.
...I could be out-negotiated and out-stubborned by a toddler.
...reading the words "I love you, Mom" in preschooler script could completely melt my heart.
...that 7:00am would now be considered "sleeping in."
Until I became a Mom, I didn't know...
...sometimes just taking a shower would be a victory for the day.
...I would laugh out loud everyday, just from the things my kids would say and do.
...I'd be wearing maternity clothes long after that baby was here and in my arms.
...that Popsicles and Band-Aids can fix just about anything.
...how hard it would be, how rewarding it would be, how exhausting it would be, how amazing it would be and how nothing else on earth could truly prepare me for all that it meant to answer to the title of "Mom."
Until I became a Mom, I didn't know...
...a piece of my heart would now forever live outside of me.
Until I became a Mom, I had no idea just how precious those words -- You Are a Good Mom -- would be, and how I would carry them with me long after hearing them. I didn't know how much I'd need to hear them, to remind myself of them, especially in the moments when I least felt like I was living up to them.
Whether you are desperately in of need them today, or they are just a happy reminder, from the very bottom of my heart to yours, please know You Are a Good Mom.
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What things did you not know until you became a Mom (or Dad)? Write in the "post a comment" box below, or click on "# comments" and a comment box to write in will open so you can add yours to the list. Thanks so much for taking the time to share! (Feel free to share any other thoughts, feelings or reactions to this post, too!)
To all the moms-to-be and the brand new Moms out there, please know this: It is OK.
It is OK to be nervous. It is OK to be eager. It is OK to be scared. It is OK to be unbelievably excited beyond words.
It is OK to not know all the answers; none of us do.
It is OK to ask questions. Lots and lots and lots of questions. It is OK to keep seeking answers if none of the answers you get to those questions feel right to you.
It is OK to laugh. It is OK to cry. It is OK to do both at the same time.
It is OK to be totally overwhelmed...with emotions, with motherhood, with support from others, with laundry. It is OK to say you are overwhelmed.
It is OK to listen to advice, smile, say "thank you" and then completely disregard it and trust your own instincts.
It is OK to second-guess yourself. It is OK to trust yourself.
It is OK to just be you. You are enough. You are exactly what that little tiny miracle needs. That is why God put that little tiny baby in your care.
There may be times when it feels just that way...as if everything in the universe is right and being Mom to your baby is exactly what you were put on this Earth to do. There may be times when you feel everything BUT that way...like you are unprepared or unsure or underdressed (as in still in your PJs at 4pm). Sometimes both those feelings happen minutes apart from one another.
It is OK.
You are not alone. You are loved, you are supported, you are surrounded by other Moms who have walked a path not so different from your own. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are at the beginning of a life-changing, life-shaping journey.
You are a mom.
You Are a Good Mom.
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Moms-to-be and brand new Moms, you were so much on my heart and mind when I was writing "A Mom is Born." I was thinking so much of the huge range of emotions I felt in those first hours and days after having my first child. A huge part of me just wanted to know it was going to be OK; to know I was going to be OK as a mom. The thoughts that kept racing through my head while I was writing the previous entry are what you see above. They didn't quite fit into "A Mom is Born," but I couldn't get them off my mind. This quick little addendum is for you guys.
Moms of bigger kiddos...or even grown up kiddos, this is for you guys, too. Maybe you can relate to some of these feelings. Maybe you still have some of these feelings from time to time.
No matter which group you fall into, please feel free to share any supportive comments or experiences to help encourage Moms just starting this whole "motherhood" thing. Add your own "It is OK..." or any other thoughts you may have in the comments below.
