TSW?T: So Close, Yet So Far

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 23

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Is Grandma going to Skittle-ly next?"
...Her question after I told her Grandma had landed safely in France.  We talked about the different places Grandma was going on her trip to Europe when the kids made her a poster before she left.  To my daughter's credit, Skittle-ly sounds even better than Italy!  

My 5-year-old son...

"Can we have those donuts from Bob Evans?"
...I have no idea if Bob Evans even has donuts.  Maybe they do.  If they do, we've never, ever had them there.  What he meant by 'Bob Evans' was 'Robinette's,' which may actually make the best donuts on the face of the planet.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Twigs, Shavers and Other Assorted Ridiculousness

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 22

My 3-year-old daughter...

All of these are courtesy of my sister this week.  After she spent the afternoon with my daughter, she texted me these gems.  

"I should wear my hair twigs to school after Halloween, right?"
...And by twigs, she obviously means, wig.  

M:  "I'm so thirsty."
My Sister:  "I'll get you some water and then you need to have rest time."
M:  "I can only rest with apple juice water."
...That's my daughter...workin' the system already.  The best part is this is something my sister totally would have pulled at age 3.  They are the perfect match for each other!

If you haven't met my kids, I'm sure you think I'm making this stuff up.  If you've met my kids, you (sadly) know I'm not...

"My mom has the same boob you do.  I will have that boob when I'm big enough to use shavers."
...There is no explanation.  I have no idea where she comes up with this stuff.  That is just some of the craziness that pops out of my daughter's mouth, and the reason I live between constant states of fear and absolute hilarity.

My 5-year-old son...

"Mom, can you pause the book, please?"
...His way of telling me 'Mom, don't start reading the book until I find my toy bat and can crawl back up next to you in my bed.'  In all honesty, I guess his way was much faster...and funnier...win for him.  Trust me, he needs all the wins he can get after his 'b word' episode from last week.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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It Was Only a Matter of Time

In all honesty, I knew this day was coming.  

I simply didn't realize it would happen so soon.

Or so loudly.

Or so publicly.

My children have said a lot of crazy things in their short little lives.  Some funny, some sweet, some embarrassing, some downright hilarious.  Up until this point, they have been said, for the most part, in the presence of family or friends.

Not any more.  My son is now in school for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. 

That gives him 35 hours to let one of his gems slip out of his sweet little mouth.  And slip out it did...

The 'B' Word

Last week, his class was working on the letter 'b' at school.  They were brainstorming words that start with the letter 'b' in class.  He eagerly raised his hand, and waited for the teacher to call on him.  As she pointed his way, a smile crept across his face.  Very loud and very proud, he said for all the class and his teacher to hear...

[enter your thought here on what it might be]

"BEER!"

Yes, beer does indeed start with the letter 'b.'  I can see he's got that initial sound thing down.  That is good.

Yes, I know there is another 'b' word that could have been much worse that could have popped out of his little mouth.  (That is actually what I was fearing when this story was relayed to me the first time, although I'm fairly certain he's never even heard that word before...)  That is also good. 

But seriously?  BEER?

That's the first word that pops into my kid's mind?  That's his 'b' word?  

Let me take 5.3 seconds to think of, oh, I don't know, a MILLION other kindergarten appropriate words he could have said.

Bat.
Ball.
Book.
Blue.
Bear.
Bike.
Bed.
Banana.
Beach.
Boat.
Bus.
Birthday.
Binoculars.

Oh no, not my son.  My son comes up with beer.  Proud day for this Momma, let me tell you what.

Then there was the picture he drew at home on Sunday for his Grandma.

"What does that say?" you're wondering.  Apparently, this drawing really needed a picture of a beer fridge.  Yes, a BEER FRIDGE.   No, she doesn't have one.  No, we don't even have one!  

From these two lovely little tales, you'd think we're raging alcoholics in this house.  I assure you, this is not the case.  Far from it.  I'm just hoping we can convince his teacher of this.

Our Saving Grace

The one thing that might get us out of this whole mess is a comment he made at home about 3 weeks ago.  

I had my copy of Parents magazine sitting on the end of my bed.  My son walked by it, then did a double take and walked back and looked at it again.

"Mom, is that Mrs. K?"

Oh, sweet child of mine.  Why don't you say things like this at school and leave all the beer talk for home?

No, that is not your kindergarten teacher.  It is supermodel Heidi Klum.  

(I will say, there is definitely a resemblance, though.)

I did email this little tidbit of cuteness to his teacher before the whole beer fiasco took place, so I'm hoping those two things somehow cancel one another out as she's debating if she should be calling the authorities on us.

Would it be inappropriate to get his teacher beer as a Christmas gift and address the card to Heidi?  Hmm...

Even when they embarrass you and they're not even in your presence, fear not, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Poison and Lose Winners

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 21

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Mom, I need to take my telescope off."
...Apparently 'telescope' is a synonym for 'stethoscope' in toddler talk

M:  "Can I have something to drink, please?"
Me:  "Absolutely.  What would you like?"
M:  "Umm...Poison.  I want some poison, please."
...This sounds like it should be cause for concern, does it not?  Relax, my good friends, and do not be alarmed.  The funniest thing about this quote is that I knew exactly what she meant.  She, of course, wanted apple cider.

Still confused?

My son had been talking about apples, and specifically, the poison apple from Snow White shortly before this little conversation happened.  So in my daughter's mind, she was thinking of a poison apple and naturally, then, 'poison' would be another word for 'apple cider.'  I pray they don't have apple cider for a snack at school any time in the near future.  Or ever, for that matter.

"Mom, you are the lose winner."
...Oh, how I love it when they just make up words or phrases to fit what they're trying to express when they don't have those words or phrases yet.  Perhaps what I love most of all, though, is that she doesn't know the word 'loser' yet.  I'm OK with keeping it that way for as long as possible.

My 5-year-old son...

...Oh, it's a doozie this week.  So much so that he's getting his own post all to himself on Thursday.  Stay tuned... 

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: The "Other" Ranch

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 20

My 3-year-old daughter...

"I'm not upset! I'm just crying!!"
...what she yelled at me while having a temper tantrum after I said "It looks like you're feeling upset."  Clearly, clearly, my child, you are most definitely not upset, and that statement you just screamed at me totally supported your case.  Or perhaps not.

My 5-year-old son...

P:  "Can I please have some ranch?"
(I had just poured some ranch on his plate for his carrots and cucumbers at lunch)
Me:  "You have a lot, buddy.  If you eat all that, I'll get you some more."
P:  "No, Mom, I want some ranch, please!"
Me:  (looking at him blankly and completely confused)  "You have ranch right there on your plate."
P:  "Mom, not this ranch.  The OTHER ranch!"
Me:  (thinking to myself that my son has lost his mind.)

(LONG PAUSE)

Me:  "Oh!  You mean Italian dressing?"
P:  (he can't believe it's taken me this long to catch up)  "Yeah, Mom, that ranch I like for my cucumbers!"
...our lunch discussion the other day.  Any condiment that comes out of a bottle is known as 'ranch' to this boy...with the exception of ketchup.  Ketchup has always been and will forever be, ketchup.

"My dog is hurt.  It's because his veins go to his head, and not his heart.  I need to check him out and help him get better."
...fear not, he is talking about a stuffed animal dog.  But yeah, kid, I would say veins to your head instead of your heart would pose a problem.  This is also probably a sign he has seen too many episodes of Doc McStuffins.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Speedy School Buses

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 19

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Is the Easter Bunny a girl or a boy?"

...ground breaking, earth shaking questions being pondered around here, folks.

"I'm whipped!"
...after walking in from our bike ride.  She said it with such conviction, too!  Being 3 is hard work, people.

My 5-year-old son...

"My school bus is the fastest vehicle I ever rode on!  It is even faster than a motorcycle!!"
...the first words out of his mouth when he hopped off the bus on his first day of school.  School buses are a lot of things.  "Fast" isn't one that comes to mind.  

"I got sick last night.  It was like crocodiles were using their sharp claws to scratch my belly."
...letting his sister know he had gotten sick in the night, and just how it had felt.  I have no idea where he comes up with this stuff.  Little did he know, she had had 'crocodiles scratching her belly' in the middle of the night, too.

"The food train!"  (laughs hysterically)  "Remember, Mom?  From The Lion King?"
...also known as the food chain to Bill Nye and other scientists the world over.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Back-to-School Style

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 18

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Can I have some more of those Tinkle chips?"

...you may be thinking this sounds like some type of potty training reward, but you, unfortunately, be wrong.  My daughter was simply talking about...

Clearly, she has not been around these delicious morsels nearly enough.  I have somehow failed her as a mother, and seek to rectify this wrong by keeping a steady supply of them in the house.  That I will probably consume myself.

My 5-year-old son...

"Maybe they will just take my tongue out and give me a new tongue!"
...his prediction, as we arrived at the doctor's office, for what might happen after he gets the bump on his tongue checked out.  Oddly enough, he had a huge smile on his face as he rattled this statement off.


And a little "back-to-school special" for your reading pleasure


My 3-year-old daughter...

"I'm going to have a sleepover with Miss Julie and Miss Deb!"
...telling her brother's teacher about starting preschool.  She somehow has gotten the idea that when she goes to Open House, she will be having a sleepover with her teachers.  I hope the time to play in the kitchen area and the sticker she gets for her shirt won't disappoint too much!

My 5-year-old son...


"Mom, can Mrs. K read?"
...while getting school supplies at Meijer.  He was choosing lemon-scented cleaning wipes, and wanted to be able to 'trick the kids' because they will smell like lemon instead of just 'cleaner.'

"What bus does Mrs. K drive?"
...during our conversation about getting on the bus and where it will pick him up and drop him off.

My favorite part of both of these quotes is that Mrs. K is his classroom teacher, who he already adores.  I can't imagine just how amazed he'll be at all the READING she can do, but that may be balanced out by the fact that while she is educating and caring for him all day everyday, she is not also DRIVING him to and from school on the bus.

Oh, how I love how the 5-year-old mind works!  Seeing school through his eyes for the very first time has been refreshing, funny and eye-opening all at the same time.
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No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: You Need ID to Enter this Spelling Bee

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 17

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Mom, you can just start sleeping for me, OK?"

...her request from me as she was having a hard time falling asleep the other night.  

My 5-year-old son...

P:  "When I grow up, I want to go to the b-a-r.  That spells 'bar.' "
Me:  "Um, what does that mean?"  (while trying to not react at all)
P:  "You know...like a chocolate bar!"
Me:  "Huh.  Where did you hear that?"
P:  "On the show."
Me:  "What show?"
P:  "All the shows!"  (laughing...like he is totally making this up as he goes)
...where to even begin with this one?  The teacher in me loves that he is playing with letters and sounds and starting to figure stuff like this out.  The mom in me is terrified he is going to say stuff JUST LIKE THIS when he is at school in 2 short weeks.  Yikes!!
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No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: A Theory of "Rhyme"itivity

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 16

My 3-year-old daughter...

"This is a flying shooter.  It shoots farts and poops."

...describing one of the Lego creations she built to me.  She is so prim, proper and lady-like, isn't she??  I hear way more "potty words" from my darling daughter than I do from my son.

"But mom...."
...basically every other sentence out of her mouth lately.  I think she is skipping the "school age" years and heading right into the "teenage years."

"Let's rhyme...FLAMINGO!"
...her suggestion for our next word to rhyme while we were playing a game in the car.  Apparently, her brother's previous choices of "rock" and "frog" and "lay" were too boring.

My 5-year-old son...

"Grandma, I have a theory on how a car accident happened."
...in the car while we were driving to lunch together.  I blame this one on his dad, who taught him the word 'theory' a few weeks ago.  I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get 'lawyered' by this kid more than once before he moves out of our house.
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No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Low Zones and Ostriches

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 14

My 3-year-old daughter...

"I'm three.  I'm not old.  I'm not any other numbers."

...doing a little deep thinking about her age  

"No worries.  I can handle it."
...a total combination of her dad and her brother.  Her dad always says the former, her brother always says the latter.

"I want to hang out with you."
...her pleading with me to stay up after bedtime and hang out with me in the kitchen.  I wish I had recorded this so I could play it over and over and over for her at age 16.


My 5-year-old son...

"Happy University!"
...as he was handing me the vase of roses from my husband for our anniversary.  I blame this one fully on Monsters University.

"How do you do the fork?"
...what he asked me after we were snuggling and talking about 'spooning.'  With the way this kid's mind works, we are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Dad:  "You still don't have your pajama pants on."
P:  "I know.  I got distracted.  I'm in a low zone."
...also known as being 'in the ozone.'  I have to admit, I almost kinda like the 'low zone' thing better, though.

"I want to be an ostrich for Halloween this year!  I'll wear my orange shoes and run really fast everywhere!"
...now don't get the wrong idea.  There is NO WAY we are already thinking about Halloween costumes in this house.  The Jell-O Halloween mold tumbled out of the cupboard, which led to the costume comment.  Now that that's out of the way, I can also let you know that he is pretty sure his orange tennis shoes make him run extra fast.  And he knows ostriches are fast.  And he has an ostrich Beanie Baby from a 3:00am trip to the ER when he was 2 years old.  I can also let you know I think the orange shoes are the extent of the plan for "Costume Ostrich 2013."

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TWS?T: My "Cheesy" Kids

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 13

My 3-year-old daughter...

"This is where all the pets need to sleep."

...she also laid out about 30 of the paper plates we had leftover from camping all over the living room for various stuffed animals.  

"Mom, can we get some more plain cheese, please?"
...her request at the grocery store for Kraft singles.  Of all the hundreds of cheeses in the world, that would most likely be the last one I would call "plain cheese."  Right there on the label it says:  "pasteurized prepared cheese product."  Cheese product.  But she loves it and will actually eat it, so in the cart it went.

My 5-year-old son...

"Do we have to mess this room back up now?"
...no, you actually don't.  But that question explains so much.  He asked me this as soon as I finished vacuuming his bedroom.  I had asked him to pick up his books and stuffed animals off the floor, so he was pretty sure that it was now his job to 'mess it back up.'  

"This keeps getting stuck in my tooth." [Pause]  "Oh wait...that's just another piece of tooth!"
...while eating his yogurt, strawberries and granola.  

"I hope you have a great meeting.  I hope you listen really well!"
...his advice to his dad on his way out the door to a meeting

"I just cut the cheese."
...while he was literally cutting his cheese at lunch.  And I laughed.  And yes, I have the mind of a 13-year-old.  So very mature over here.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Apparently It's Alligator Week Around Here

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 12

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Mom, can I have some of your alligator juice?"
...she asked me this as we were sitting out on the dock at a cottage, as I was drinking what, you ask?  Yup, you guessed it...Gatorade.

M:  "I love you, my brother."
P:   "Wait...was she thinking about that in the bathroom?"
...her first words upon returning to the lunch table from the bathroom.  And her brother's response.  Priceless.  And yes, she does call him "my brother" from time to time.  Don't know where she picked that up, but it always makes me smile.

My 5-year-old son...

"Mom, does getting stung by a bee feel just like getting your head chomped off by an alligator?!"
...well, son, having never had my head chomped off by an alligator I am unable to accurately answer that question.  However, in my opinion, I think the alligator thing would be worse than the bee thing.  I will also say they are called "stings" for a reason.  Ouch.

P:  "Can we see God?"
Me:  "No, we can't see him like we would see another person.  But he is always with us and we can talk to him whenever we want."
P:  "Oh.  He must blend in really, really good!"
...these questions just keep getting tougher and tougher!  I need an answer key, please.

"Which game do you want, sweetie?"
...what I overheard him saying to his sister as he was helping her play a game on the computer.  Every now and then, he'll call her 'honey' or 'sweetie,' no doubt because I do.  I always wish I could freeze time for just that moment when I'm lucky enough to hear it.  

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Mr. Rooster and Grand Valley

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 11

My 3-year-old daughter...

"Don't give up, Mom.  You can do it!"
...her encouragement to me while playing Cootie.  Alas, I finished with ONLY my Cootie body, not even a head, while both my kids totally waxed me.

My now 5-year-old son...
"Look!  It's the Grand Valley!"
...while watching fireworks on the 4th of July.  In some circles, this may also be known as the "grand finale," but apparently not in ours.

"When I grow up, I wanna be a Daddy so I can help take care of kids."
...while my husband was helping my daughter get ready for bed.  Per my husband's request, I am not typing the sentence that came directly after that.  Unless enough of you are curious enough and comment about it on this post.  Then I may just have to let it slip...

"It's a whirling pool!"
...while stirring the water in his sand bucket with his water blaster.  Personally, I kinda like whirling pool better than the traditional "whirl pool" it sounds somehow much more fun.

"Mom, my skin is getting tan.  It's tan just like yours!"
...maybe the sweetest thing he's ever said to me.  Or anyone has ever said to me.  Those of you who know me can stop laughing right now.  Those of you who don't me, you should know the only thing close to a "tan" I get is when my millions of freckles decide to join sides.  

"My hair is sticking up.  I look like a rooster!"
...upon looking at himself in the mirror and seeing his cowlick before church on Sunday.  He proceeded to tell the greeter at church to call him "Mr. Rooster."  

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Feeling the Love

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 10

Does this still count as a They Said What? Tuesday if I intended to finish it and post it on a Tuesday, but now it is Wednesday?  I sure hope so.  I would hate to rip a hole in the time-space-blog continuum or something.  

I really did mean to get this finished and posted on Tuesday, but I only just got back home about 2 hours ago, and those 2 hours have been full of unpacking the van and starting on the mountain of laundry and trying to figure out which items got shoved in which bags in an effort to just get everything packed up and back home.

Why you ask?  Vacation!  What better answer could there be?  

This is also the answer to the question "Why have you not posted any new blog entries in two weeks?"  Nothing exciting like "I was selected to represent the U.S. on an elite team of underground spies and had to adopt a new identity" or anything.  Just vacation.  

So for those of you who have been wondering, fear not.  I am indeed alive and well, and did indeed survive vacation to blog again.  Surviving the mountain of laundry?  That has yet to be determined.  

My 3-year-old daughter...
"I like you, Mom.  Mom, I love you.  I love you so much I make you happy in your heart."
...what she said to me as she was waking up one morning at the cottage after crawling in bed with me at some point in the night.  I cannot think of a better way to wake up than to that exact sentiment.

My now 5-year-old son...
"I love my sister."
...while they were both laying on the floor playing Mr. Potato Head.  Completely unprompted. Completely out of the blue.  

"Jesus loves kids even more than the grown ups love kids.  Like grown ups love kids to the moon and back 11 times and Jesus loves kids to the moon and back 60 hundred ninety times."
...that is definitely a precise measurement right there.  I think it may also an alternate verse from "Jesus Loves Me" 

Me...
As much as I hate to admit it, yes, I do have my own quote for this week, which occurred earlier today.

"Where's Morgan?"
...said in a somewhat panicked voice as I looked around to make sure she wasn't trying to run across the street or away from our group.  It took me a good 10-15 seconds to realize she was, indeed, sitting on my shoulders and I was holding her legs with my hands.  

There you have it, folks.  That pretty much sums up my "mom brain" after almost two weeks of vacation at the beach, along with throwing two birthday parties and attending and celebrating my husband's graduation with his Master's degree.  

Life is busy.  Life is good.  I can't imagine it any other way.  

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: A Week Full of Pants

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 9

My 3-year-old daughter...
"Ouch!  Ouch!  These pants are ferocious!"
...as her feet were getting stuck in the bottom of her leggings, while she was wrestling against me trying to put them on.  Who knew pants could be ferocious.  Maybe 'ferocious' is the new 'fierce'?

"I want a muffin English, please."
...her breakfast request

"Do you have a chicken nugget in your pants?"
...totally unprompted.  Your guess is as good as mine.  The only information I can provide you is she was sitting at the kitchen counter and I was standing across from her.  There was a chicken nugget on her plate and I was, indeed, wearing pants.  That's all I got.

"I want another undersea dog!"
...her request for another underdog at the playground while swinging.  A little too much Little Mermaid on Disney radio, I think..."Under the Sea...Under the Sea..."

My almost 5-year-old son...
"My foot is almost 5 years old."
...explaining why he needed new sandals this summer.  And while I have never thought of individual body parts being a certain number of years old, I suppose he is correct.  Those feet of his are indeed almost 5 years old.

Me:  "Do you like your new haircut?"
P (while looking in the mirror):  "Yes!!  I don't even look like myself!"
Me:  "Who do you look like?"
P:  "Like a boy with short hair!"
...our discussion after he got his first hair cut of the summer.  This is the shortest it's ever been for him!

"Do you have to wear underpants when you're a grown up?"
...ladies and gentlemen, I will defer to you to answer that one for yourself, based on personal preference

P:  "Mom, why are eating by your husband?"
Me:  "Because I love him."
P:  "Oh.  I'm eating by my sister because I love her."
...our conversation at dinner.  And then my heart melted just like the butter on my garlic bread.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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TSW?T: Farts and Orphaned Caterpillars

They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 8

My 3-year-old daughter...
"Morgan's lovey fart?"
...her very puzzled reaction after my prayer of being thankful for "Morgan's loving heart."  I don't know if she was surprised by the fact that I said 'fart' or the fact that I was thankful for it.

My almost 5-year-old son...
"Your bedroom just hits the spot.  Your bedroom is where I should be because it feels just fine."
...his argument for why he should be in my room instead of his room at bedtime 

"Goodbye little caterpillar!  I hope you find your Mom! I love you!"
...the emotional goodbye to the caterpillar we had been checking out for a grand total of 2 minutes on our walk

"We did not take a nap and we still have a good attitude.  Isn't this a funny day?"
...if by 'funny' you mean completely out of character and only true for the 3 minutes before that sentence came out of your mouth, then yes, yes it is.  The funniest day ever.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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NQ(B)TSWT: Swirlycase and Toothpaste

Notable Quotables (Becomes) They Said What? Tuesday:  Volume 7
Because I am the most indecisive individual on the planet, this little weekly collection of quotes from my kids is changing names once again.  Alert the media. 

My 3-year-old daughter...
"Let me show you some toothpaste!"
...singing along with Justin Timberlake to "Suit and Tie" on the radio, in which the actual lyrics are "Let me show you a few things."  Look for her version on iTunes soon.

"Remember the bippy boppy goo guy who hit Cinderella in the head?  'Member that?"
...her addition to our retelling of Cinderella at nap time. 

My almost 5-year-old son...
"I see the word Mom.  It's everywhere!  It's in uppercase and lowercase and SWIRLYcase!"
...referring to the Tervis cup I got from my mom for Mother's Day.  From now on, I will be calling various fonts 'swirlycase' or 'fancycase' or any other type of 'case' I can think of. 

"Maybe we can take her to the vet!"
...his contribution to the discussion my husband and I were having about the plan of action for my daughter if she continued to not feel well.  This line was used very innocently today.  I fear, however, it may be used not-so-innocently when the teenage years arrive.

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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NQ: Stinky USBs

Notable Quotables:  Volume 6

My now 3-year-old daughter...
"I'm surfin' USB!"
...sang while "surfing" on balance boards at the Children's Museum.  She heard my son singing "Surfin' USA" and apparently, she decided to change it up a little bit.  That, or she may be our child to have a career in technology.  Or not.  Is a USB port at all related to surfing the web?

"Excuse me, God.  I would like to talk to you."
...how she started her prayers the other night

My almost 5-year-old son...
"I am so stinky.  Yes, oh yes, I am.  I am so so so so so so STINK-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
...a lovely little tune performed by my son while he was in the bathroom.  Fortunately, I only heard this from the other side of the closed bathroom door.  

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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WTSW(t)BNQ: Skinny pants & A Condo

What They Said WednesTuesday Becomes Notable Quotables:  Volume 5

My now 3-year-old daughter...
"These are my skinny pants!"
...as she was holding up her tights to show me.  I can count the number of times she has worn tights on one hand, which was quite obvious when she made this statement.  First, skinny jeans.  Next, skinny pants.  This may be the next style to sweep the nation.  You heard it here first.

"Dad, you are so smart.  You got out my Pull Up and you got out my jammies and you got out my toothbrush and you got my toothpaste on it."
...she was apparently quite impressed with my husband's preparedness for her bedtime routine

"I'm going to Florida Canada!"
...she announced this as she and her brother were packing their backpacks and going on a  "trip," which in actuality, was her brother's bedroom.  I hear Florida Canada is nice this time of year.  You can go snorkeling and play hockey all in the same day.  


My almost 5-year-old son...
P: "Mom, when are we moving?" 
Me:  "Where would you like to move?"
P:  "To a condo."
...this was the beginning of a conversation he started over breakfast.  In the last few months, his aunt has moved, his grandma has moved and his great uncle has moved.  I think he thinks everyone just moves at some point.  I guess he's ready to downsize!

"It would be hard work to burp two babies."
...his response to seeing twins at the grocery store.  I love that burping them is what he thought of as being the thing that would be most difficult with two babies.  God bless all you moms of multiples out there!

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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WTSW(t): My Little Human Treasure Map

What They Said WednesTuesday:  Volume 4
I'm sure this is incredibly crucial information to all of you, but this whole "crazy things my kids say" thing is moving from it's regularly scheduled Wednesday slot to Tuesday.  Upon first glance, Wednesday seemed like a great middle of the week time to post, and I had that lovely little "What They Said Wednesday" alliteration thing going.  But, alas, I've found Wednesday is  turning into a big weekday hog, inadvertently sucking up Tuesday and Thursday in it's wake, and then I feel like I'm posting to many things all squished together on back to back days.  I'm sure you were all very concerned about this and will now sleep much easier at night.

Did I mention I have a tendency to over-explain myself?  Like all the time? 

Also, I don't have a catchy little slogan for Tuesday like I did for Wednesday, so I'm totally open to suggestions.  

Whew.  Glad to get all that off my chest.  And now, without further ado... (That may be the first and last time I ever type the word "ado.")

My now 3-year-old daughter...
"...and that Jesus makes good choices..."
...one of the things she was thankful for during her bedtime prayers.  Now you get to guess how many times we've had the "good choices talk" around our house lately.

M:  "I'm hungry."
Grandma: "But you are eating a snack right now."
M:  "I'm the kind of hungry when you need a drink."
...a fantastically 3-year-old way of describing the word 'thirsty' without actually using the word 'thirsty'

Costco employee:  "I like your John Deere sweatshirt!  Nothing runs like a Deere."
M:  "I run like a deer! Gallop gallop gallop!"  (complete with hand motions)
...do deer gallop?  I don't think this is the image the John Deere marketing department had in mind when they came up with this slogan

My almost 5-year-old son...
"Look, Mom!  I'm a pirate!  'X' marks the spot.  It's a treasure map!"
...as he came out of his room during 'quiet time.'  He had been writing and drawing with a pen in a notebook...which must have gotten boring, as he then moved on the more interesting medium of his arm.  Both of his arms were completely covered with ink 'X's.

"Are you just making noise?"  (about 5 minutes later)  "Ok, that's enough crying for now."
...to his sister as she was just kind of whiney/crying/fussing over pretty much nothing 

No matter what they say, You Are a Good Mom.

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