"I love you more today..." Really?

"I love you more today than the day I married you."

We've all heard people say it.  But come on...

Really?

I mean it's a lovely sentiment and all, but really?

Really?

Most wedding days are magical and whimsical and produce love-induced comas and are basically pretty hard to top.

So, yeah, we get it...you're still in in love and all, but "more today?"  

Really?  

My own wedding day was nine years ago today, and it is full of moments I will never, ever forget.  

I woke up at 4:38am in my bed at my mom's house.  No alarm or anything.  And I could not, could not, go back to bed.  It was not for lack of trying.  I tossed.  I turned.  I tried to lay still and just drift back to sleep, but I couldn't.   I was so beyond excited for that day to start.  I got to marry my best friend and then have a party with our family and friends in a matter of hours.  The day simply couldn't  begin soon enough!  At 6:00am, when I figured out there was no way any type of sleep was in my future, I did hop out of bed and open a few wedding gifts that had been sent to my mom's house, and finally decided that 6:30am would be at least a reasonable time to be up and around, without making my mom wonder if I was crazy or something was wrong.

I remember seeing him for the very first time that day.  We took pictures before the ceremony began, so the very first time we saw each other on our wedding day, it was simply the two of us and the photographer in the sanctuary.  My groom was waiting at the altar, and I walked down the aisle to meet him.  When I was about 20 feet away, the photographer said, "Trevor, you may turn around and see your bride."  I will never forget the moment he turned around and our eyes met, or the butterflies I felt at that moment.  I was undeniably, without a doubt, the luckiest girl in the world.

Our day was absolutely perfect.  The ceremony was beautiful.  The reception was amazing.   That is not to say everything went off without a hitch...there were lots of 'hitches' along the way, but it didn't matter.  I was so head over heels in love, nothing could have phased me that day.  I remember telling everyone I loved them at the reception when I saw them throughout the night.  Because I did.  I truly did.  I was so overwhelmingly full of love, I felt like I needed to tell everyone how much I loved them and how thankful I was they were there to share in that special day with us.

There was a whole lot of love going on that day, and all the rainbows and butterflies and wedding business to make it almost a 'surreal' love.

"I love you more today than the day I married you."

Really?

We're nine years in.

A lot has happened.  A lot has changed.

We moved into a rental house, then out of a rental house.  We bought our own house.  

We began jobs that became careers.  And saw changes from one job to another.  We saw each other through finishing our masters' degrees.  

We went to Mexico.  And Ireland.  And Italy.  And learned how to completely lean on one another to figure things out and navigate our way in a foreign place.  

We traded in college cars for cars that actually worked.  And then cars that got better fuel mileage.  And then cars that would hold car seats.  

We became parents.  Together.  I could not imagine sharing that experience and that exact moment when our son was placed in our arms with anyone else.  Then we became parents again.  And again, I could not imagine walking that journey with anyone else.

Now when I wake up at 4:38am, it's because one of our children is having a night terror or wet the bed, and I long for the second I can fall back asleep.  Slightly different than nine years ago...

As parents, we've had to figure out this whole "marriage" thing all over again and how to parent together and how to make it all work.  Most days it does, some days it doesn't.  But we are learning.  Together.  

We lost your mom.  We experienced grief and mourning together.  I didn't always know the right words.  All I wanted to do was take your pain away.  Sometimes I still wish I could.  But we journeyed that difficult road together.

We've celebrated nine Christmases, nine Easters, nine birthdays, nine Valentine's Days and now nine anniversaries.  

A lot has happened in nine years.  A lot has changed in nine years.

But here's the weird thing about all that stuff...we've done it together.

Together.

It's part of our story.  

Of our family.  

All of that is now part of us, and who we are.

Together.

It hasn't always been easy, but what I look at what we've done together, what we've supported each other through, what we've built together, and I know our love is stronger because of it.  I know it is a love that can withstand hard times and challenges.  It was an amazing love nine years ago when I said "I do," but it has become a stronger, deeper, even more amazing love today.

So, yes, really.  

I love you more today than I did nine years ago, when on this very day I said "I do."  

I meant it then, and I mean it even more now.  I still do.  And I would say "I do" in a heartbeat if I had it all to do over again.  

We have grown together.  We have laughed together.  We have cried together.  We have made a life together.  We have talked, even when it was hard.  We have listened, even when it was harder.  We have had great joys and blessings beyond anything we could have hoped or dreamed for nine years ago.

You are my perfect provision.  You are my own and only.  You are my best my friend.

I love you more today than the day I married you.

Really, really.

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I feel so lucky to have a husband who believes in me as a wife, as a mother, as a person.  You're a Good Mom.  To my husband, thank you for reminding me of these words when I forget them myself, and for helping me to believe them.  


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Happy Birthday!! (Now Go Enjoy your Prom...)

Happy Birthday, Trevor!
Spring is serious birthday time in our family, and today is no exception. Besides me, my mom, two of my uncles, my new niece!, my daughter, my father-in law and my brother-in-law, my husband also has a spring birthday.  And today is his day.  

I couldn't let this day go by without a little shout out in a blog post to my own and only, but "Happy Birthday, Trevor" doesn't really constitute an entire post.  And it doesn't really relate all that much to my experiences and adventures as a mom, which is what this blog is all about.  What's a girl to do?  

So here is my solution:  write a birthday blog post for my husband, recapping my very favorite memory, selected from the past 13 birthdays of his that I've been around for, which just so happens to have a little Motherhood tie in.  Here goes...  

Travel Back with Me to 2010...
My due date for our 2nd child, my now three-year-old daughter, was exactly five days after my husband's 30th birthday.  I was faced with a minor dilemma about what to do for this momentous occasion of my husband entering his 30's.  This was a fairly big birthday, as far as birthdays go, and not one to just let "slip by."  A few months out, the wheels started turning...  

Do I have a surprise party?  What if the surprise is that I'm in the hospital having a baby when all our friends and family show up at our house?  Do I plan a day for him to go golfing with some of his buddies?  What if they have to call him in off the water hazard at the 15th hole because my water just broke?  Do I try to do something before his birthday and before Baby is born?  What if I'm put on bed rest?  What if I'm so humongous and exhausted and uncomfortable I fall asleep at 8:07pm at a party I'm hosting?  (Um, did I mention I'm a little bit of a worrier?)

Fortunately, a great friend of ours saved the day on this one.  He actually called me and asked if I had plans for Trevor's 30th birthday.  Yes, but no, but I've tried to play through every scenario and I've come up with...nothing.  I think he could hear the desperation in my voice.  Brilliant friend with equally brilliant idea to the rescue!  Here was his pitch: I tell Trevor we're going out for dinner.  I tell him I've made reservations at a Japanese Steak House.  The surprise part is when we get there, 3 other couples will be waiting for us when we walk in the lobby.  If for some reason we have to take a detour, say, to the hospital, not a huge deal, as we only have to let 6 people know, and they get to stay and have a great dinner anyway.  Like I said, brilliant.

What We Weren't Expecting...But We Were All Expecting...
We arrived at the restaurant as planned.  My husband was surprised as he slowly figured out it wasn't just a coincidence our friends were also there.  We waited for our table.  We talked.  We chatted.  We laughed.  We began to notice a couple people looking at us.  And then a few more.  And then we noticed just about everyone in the lobby had looked over our way at some point.  That's when we realized it.  All 4 of the women in our group were noticeably pregnant, and due within about 4 months of each other, with me leading the pack at T minus 5 days from my due date.  Oh, what a sight we were.  

Then it got even better.

We were escorted to our table.  (I'm pretty sure I waddled, but whatever...)  Now, if you've ever been to Japanese Steak House-style restaurant where they cook your food right at your table, you know you end up sharing your meal with complete and total strangers in order to fill a table that surrounds a flat top grill.  So who does the 30th birthday group with 4 pregnant women get seated with?  Who else but a bunch of high school kids out for dinner before their prom?  Why not, right?  

My first thought...Where is Ashton Kutcher?  Are we on 'Punk'd' right now?  (Who am I kidding...that show had been off the air for years by 2010...)

My second thought...Really?  I already feel like I'm the size of a house and now I have to eat this meal sitting next to teenage girls in formal wear and heels?  I'm pretty sure I can't see my feet anymore at this stage in the game.  And I can't even have a drink to ease the pain...

My third thought...They must think we are all insane.  Like pregnant women travel in packs or we have started some sort of strange pregnancy club or the Japanese Steak House now hosts Lamaze classes on Saturday nights or something.

My fourth thought...We have quite possibly helped to prevent some poor choices from being made later in their evening by scaring the crap out of them with our 100% pregnancy rate over at our end of the table.

My fifth thought...Man, I'm hungry.  It's been at least 47 minutes since I last ate.  Let's eat!

We left dinner, and hit a couple more spots before we called it a night.  We were like a traveling circus.  Every single place we went, people would stare in amazement or confusion or disbelief as we walked by.  So.  Much.  Fun.  I'm serious here, people.  It was so funny to see people's reactions, and honestly, when you're that pregnant, who would you rather be around than other pregnant women?  

As far as birthdays go, nothing says "Happy 30th Birthday" like a night out with 4 pregnant women and some teenage kids on their way to prom.  No surprise party.  No golf outing.  But it did turn out to be a memorable evening, shared with amazing friends.  And their babies-to-be.

Happy Birthday, Trevor.  You are an incredible man, husband and father.  Every year on this day I say a special prayer to thank God that you were born.  And that you picked me.  And that my kids have such an amazing guy to call "Dad."  And that I get to make yet another German Chocolate cake.  Through your constant encouragement and support, You Are (helping me to be) a Good Mom.

My Valentine

Valentine's Day means something a little different for everyone. It is a day of friendship, of love; of telling those we love and care about that we love and care about them.  Your Valentine may be your sweet kiddo, a loyal friend, an incredible significant other.  No matter who your Valentine is today, take time to tell them you love them, you appreciate them, you care about them.  It will warm your heart and theirs in the midst of this cold, cold winter!

Happy Valentine's Day!  Valentine, You're A Good Mom!

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To my husband...

1.  I love you for "getting" me and all the crazy little things that make me tick.  

2.  I appreciate how you care for and love our family.  You always make us a priority, and that is clear in both your words and your actions.

3.  I am in awe of you as a dad.  It brings me more joy than you will ever know to watch you play with our kids, love our kids, teach our kids, and be a role model for our kids.  They are beyond blessed to have you as their dad.

4.  I am thankful for your unconditional love and support.  Thank you for encouraging me to try things that are new and scary, and standing by my side.

5.  I appreciate the way you look out for me, and usually know what I need before I even do.  Thank you for "kicking me out of the house" once a week to have a little time to myself and to write.  Thank you for helping me make time for the things that make me, me, and to not lose sight of who I am in the midst of the "busyness" of life.  

6.  I love that you still "date" me, even though we are just an old married couple now.  I love that our kids know Mom and Dad love each other and need time to be together and know exactly what "date night" means.  

7.  I respect how very hard you work, and the work ethic you model for our kids.  Whether its your job, your Masters classes or building cabinets in the garage, your put your all into all you do.

8.  I am thankful that you fight fair.  As my sister so wisely said at our reception, it's not all "rainbows and butterflies" but even when the dark clouds do roll in, you are willing to talk and willing to listen.  Sometimes it is after a good old-fashioned, honest-to-goodness fight, but thanks for always hanging in there with me. 

9.  I appreciate your musical talents and that you fill our house with song.  Seeing our kids sing and dance while you sing and play guitar have made for some of my very favorite family memories.  

10.  I love that you asked.  I loved that I got to say yes.

You are my own and only, my perfect provision.  Much love today and always.